Trees

This past week's topic was on "Sin & the Cross". The thought of the Sin & the Cross felt heavy. I imagined having deep sessions of crying and repenting for hours.... the typical things I've experienced during youth retreats at church. However, it was so much more and different than what I had imagined.The very first thing we did on Monday morning was Scripture Prayer. I didn't know what that was, but as Yolanda explained, it was basically reading verses at a time and re-phrasing those verses to make it my prayer. We learned to proclaim and declare using God's authority. It was some powerful stuff!!As the week progressed in learning about Adam & Eve, the tree of the knowledge of Good & Evil, The Fall, etc. there were many new concepts that I never perceived before. But I continued to question, "So where does the cross come in with all this?"Then Wednesday came and I had the biggest revelation. I believe the church has thought me this before, but the revelation wasn't big enough and it never really sunk in deep enough. The speaker explained that there is a difference between the act of sin(s) and being a sinner. When we accept Christ into our lives, we put our old self on the Cross where Christ died on. We are born again as Saints - meaning we are NO longer sinners. We may still sin, but Christ already died once, so He does not need to die again for us! God knows us from beginning to end. He understands that habits are not easy to break. God is not a condemning God with a clip board and waits us to screw up so He can mark us down. We don't have to try to be good all the time and feel shameful when we do fall short. He understands that it's a journey to be righteous and obedient. When we repent for the acts of sin, he doesn't expect us to change instantly. All He wants is for us to allow Him to be part of the process, part of the journey so we can walk without shame and guilt. Once we are Saints, it becames a journey of growth, not a repeated process of feeling shameful that I let Him down again. After this week, I feel so relieved of many stones I've been carrying with me most of my life. God truly revealed that He is the source of all things. I know that I will continue to make mistakes and make poor choices at times. But, I know that God doesn't stand over my shoulders and says, "You bad girl!" He reaches out His hand, picks me up and says, "Let's try this again." This Friday, we got a day off, so I took a nice long walk down the river to soak all of this in. God is truly amazing... and I'm in awe of His faithfulness... and grateful of His love and grace. I found so much peace during this wonderful walk and spend the rest of the day with lots of quality time with my fellow YWAMers. More exciting stuff next week! Many blessings,Adeline Kim